Sunday, September 26, 2010

Six Sentence Sundays


This piece is from my novel that I recently submitted to an agent. 

      As people walked past me, I drowned out the sounds of the passing cars and the shouts from my friends.  The background faded into a blur as the wind blew behind me as if to push me to my destination faster than I had anticipated.  A gentle hint of Old Spice lingered under my nose, and I walked right through the comforting odor that reminded me of my brother.  The smell intensified and the remnants of my brother’s spray-painted signature remained on the wall of the bakery.  A heavy pang tore at my heart when the line of blue, the rival gang’s color, was painted straight across his name. I bit down the anger and rushed to school.

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  1. Vivid and powerful. Great descriptions of how grief numbs.

  2. Vivid and moving. Great description of how grief numbs in some ways, heightens senses in others. Good luck with the submission

  3. This is an awesome excerpt. So powerful. It was worth waiting to comment on!

  4. Wow. What a powerful excerpt. Good luck on the agent hunt.